Friday, June 26, 2009

The smell of low tide....

I know I said there would be more blogs about me and my trusty side kick. It seems as though she had other plans. My heart hurts more than I thought it would.

Yesterday at about 10 am Dazie past away. It was quick. If she ever felt any pain, she never gave me any clues. She was always the most happy dog I had ever seen. So now, I'm going to tell you the story of the little girl who saved my life.....

In January of 2007 when my life had fallen apart around me and I was sad all of the time I decided I needed someone to share my life with. I had spent a bit over a year with an ex-boyfriends dog and was missing that fuzzy element in my life. I must have seen 6 dogs while waiting to hear back about Dazie. At the time she was called "Peaches" (Who does that to a dog) Her cute little face. I fell in love with her just in a picture. When I finally heard from the folks at the rescue shelter that had her I knew she would be the girl for me. We made an appointment for a home visit on a Saturday morning. From the moment she got to my house, she never left. She was mine and I was hers.

I know I have said time and time again that I don't like children but I can relate. She came to me a scarred little girl. Someone had beaten and starved her to a tiny 55 lbs. She would barely let anyone touch her. It was a rough first few months. If you were one of the few who heard that heartbreaking squeal when she was scared you would know instantly she had been through something awful. I spent our time together trying to teach her that there were good people in the world. People who would love her. Spoil her. Play with her. Be kind and not scary. She had never played before. She had no idea what to do with toys. It took a bit, but at least at one point she would chase a ball and jump on it like she had found something great. She had an inner soccer player I think. No way was she putting that ball in her mouth. Not my girl. Only when she wanted to lie down and chew on it.

She wouldn't bark. At all. It was not until 6 months in that a fire truck drive by my house and she let out this Chewbacka wail that I knew she had it in her. From that point on I was going to teach this dog to bark! And I did. She and I would chase each other around the house, playing hide and seek barking at each other.

By the time she passed on, strangers could walk up to her and pet her. She was a completely different girl than the one I had met just a few years earlier. Without her, my life would have taken a very different path. There were days that I had to fight just to get out of bed and I did it for her. I knew she needed me so come hell or high water I would make her live better than it was. She was getting everything she deserved. No dog should ever feel like the qualities that make them dogs are wrong. Dogs should bark and run and play. That is what they do! My girl was never allowed to do that. I am glad to know that the years I had her with me she got to be a dog. I very spoiled dog and a member of my family. Though I do not live near my parents she was a member of their family as well. My dad had built her a step stool and a bench seat for riding around in his truck. When it was Grampa time with Dazie, she went everywhere with him. She even went into a doctors office with him! She instantly had the heart of anyone who met her.

It is hard to sit here, on "her couch" under "her blanket" and have there not be any fur on it. I keep looking up and expecting to see her. Just pouring coffee this morning made me burst into tears. Typically I would prop open the back door to let her roam the yard, grab the coffee and wander around the yard with her. I will miss her stinky low tide breath waking me up in the morning. It was tough sleeping last night and actually having space in my bed. It was "her bed" I was just allowed to borrow a corner.

As much as I will miss her. I am glad she did not suffer. The vet seamed to think she had an undiagnosed heart condition. I like to think that her heart was just too big fer her chest. I know that dogs are not deep and intellectual and quite frankly neither am I, but if she had deep thoughts I'm sure she knew that I was ready to let her go. I too have come along way. She knew I would not be alone anymore. I have the life I always wanted and I would keep on living it. I have the love and support of my family and great friends that will keep me going.

Dazie, you were my guardian angel. I wish I could have done more for you. Had I known yesterday was your last day I surely would have given you my pizza you were begging for. But then again, you knew that. I will always love you my sweet little girl. Rest in peace.

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