Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Leather pants and beer.....

To be honest, I'm surprised I slept at all last night. I usually don't when I'm upset or anxious about something. The night before Opening Day at Fenway, I didn't sleep a wink!

As anyone who reads my silly little blog, you have to realize it is what I claim it to be and nothing more. It's an open forum to vent and get things off my chest. Depending on the situation, just talking about it makes me feel better.

That is why what happened hurts so much. Someone. The Someone. Is gone. The reason for my semi calm nature during this whole house buying experience is no longer part of my life. It is funny because I am willing off the thought that if we were still speaking I would be telling him of the 7:30 am wake up call of my neighbor having his driveway jack hammered. Yep, you heard me. I thought the house was coming down. I bit of warning would have been nice! Perhaps he would have been here and I could have laughed about it; instead of calling the town to see what ungodly hour construction was allowed to begin here. Calmer heads did not prevail this morning.

Oddly enough it is not really about him. It's about me. (I admit, I threw out the "it's not you it's me" just now) It is more about the how and why and the continuous hurtful nature of the guys I meet. At the bare minimum at least this one didn't lie to me and about me, he just decided to take an opportunity and blame it on booze. I am a silly drunk. Not that it happens all that much. I tend to giggle a lot and do stupid things. Even in my drunkest moments I have never done something that I know would hurt someone else. I guess that people's true personality comes out when they are uninhibited. I honestly thought he was a good guy. It is amazing how one night can ruin it all.

Oh well. Plenty of Fish in the sea.....right?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I have a DATE!

Ha,ha....not that kind of date...a closing date! So much better than boys! Looks like on June 5th I will officially be a homeowner! Then the fun begins! I get to rip things apart, tear down walls, rip up stinky carpet, get rid of morgue lights (those old florescent boxes that make everyone look dead) and some 1976 wood paneling. I'm even trying my hand at some sheet rocking (thank you Steve~I hope you are a patient man)

Yellow laminate countertops will be a thing of the past (oh wait...)

This has been a bit of a rocky road. I feel like all I have been doing lately is eating, sleeping, working and yelling at people. Who knew you had to call a bank every day to get them to take your deposit? It took speaking with a lovely woman while almost in tears to get anyone to listen to me.

It also seemed like every time I actually found the time, energy and good mood to go out....my landlord (the seller) knew. I think she was raining on my parade for sport. I would be dressed and ready to head out to have some much deserved fun and there she was; on the phone or worse....on the porch! I think she is the reason I drink. I know she is the reason I fear going home.

But it looks like it is all starting to pay off. I feel better. Calmer. Like I'm getting somewhere. For the most part, I have done this by myself. While working full time. Think it sounds easy? Try it. I dare you. I have been lucky this time around though. I have someone in my life at the moment that has been a bit of a source of sanity. Someone I can go to when I need advise and can help steer me in the right direction. He has yet to fail me with his advise and recommendations. I have gotten complements from my two best girlfriends when they would ask how things are going....and they often were not going well.....that I was oddly calm. I have someone to blame for that. It has been great. I would have lost my mind. Seriously. Gone.

Thank You Someone. Maybe someday I can repay the favor.